2015 Ugly Lamp Contest: Final Round!

Let’s get ready to RUMMMMBLE! It’s the fourth and final round of the Ugly Lamp Contest! Today the top two ugliest lamps from each of the three rounds – as voted on by you, brave reader – will compete head-to-head and bulb-to-bulb in one last showdown. Be sure to check out rounds one, two, and three if you haven’t had a chance to yet.

Lampocalypse lived up to his name as the lamp to end all lamps in round three, pulverizing the competition with 73% of the vote. But can he continue to reign supreme? Is he an even match for Lava Clown? Should they be allowed to be in a room together? That would surely rip a hole in the fabric of the universe.

Who will light the way to victory and who will burn out? There’s only one way to know.

The road to triumph starts here:

Yeah, I hope there’s a dumpster on this road.

But don’t underestimate Wishing-Well Hell. His spiky lacquered spikes are poised and ready to attack!  The only thing his opponents will wish for is that they had never been born.

If you’re hearing demonic merry-go-round music, it can only mean …

The circus is in TOWN! Step right up and see who dares challenge Lava Clown to a fight. He dominated round one, but will his luck continue, or is the joke on him this time?

Driftwhat remains a mystery, which appears to be the source of his strength. Seriously, what IS THIS? Some of my favorite reader comments were: a cassaba root, a random hunk of ceramic shaped like a random hunk of ceramic, and an orc aorta, which I mistakenly read as orca aorta, and boom, I finally had the perfect name for my band.

Will he sneak his way into the championship or slither back to the primordial swamp from whence he came?

She Friend was the hands-down winner of round two, but will she be able to maintain her momentum?  Or will she be relegated to the ‘friend zone?’  (Don’t say anything, but I think I caught her flirting with Lampocalypse. Or maybe that was just one of her eyelash ferns falling off. Still, they’d make a cute couple, right??)  (Help me).

Don’t overlook Suitable Satan. He may be quiet, but he’s been in enough fights to know exactly how to take down his opponents. Plus, he has nothing to lose. Besides more teeth.

And finally, will Lampocalypse ride the victorious wave from round three all the way into the championship? He definitely has a leg to stand on, even if it might actually be someone else’s leg.  He hopes to see his competitors cry, preferably tears of blood.

Vote now!

If you are on a mobile device and can’t see the poll, click here.