2014 Ugly Lamp Contest: Round Three

This is it guys.  The last round of voting before the top six compete tomorrow. How are you doing?  Hanging in there?  Or have you become hardened?  Toughened by the overexposure of ugly that the last few days have wrought, a stony shell of your former self?  It’s ok to cry.

As far as yesterday goes, no surprises, Beef Femur dominated Round Two by a landslide.  Coming in a very distant second was Mikey Mice.  Will things change when they go head-to-head with the all the winners in the battle round?  We shall see tomorrow!  If you missed those, click here to vote in Round One and Round Two.

PS: Your comments are killing me!  Apparently the ‘water feature’ lamp from yesterday is actually a ‘vintage treasure’ (I use the term loosely) that many of you have shared fond memories of.  Yeah. Still veryveryugly.  (But worth a lot on ebay!)

And now.

The moment you’ve all been waiting for/secretly hoping would never come.

Round Three has begun.

Find a buddy.  Hum a hymn. Don’t look back.

Here we go.

from Stephanie

This one might be a ‘vintage treasure’ too.  Or it might be an alien weakly disguised as a Star Trek character, whose hobbies include fencing, posing sassily, and being a lamp.

I’m going to go with the second one.

from Georgia

If Lady Gaga, Liberace, and Britney Spears all got together and designed a lamp … it would be way less tacky than this thing. On the other hand, it looks like those arts-and-crafts-loving ladies from yesterday have really upped their game!

from Molly

Oooh, Adam.  You’re getting a little … puffy.  Maybe you need to cut back on the carbs.  Hey look, there’s a salad in your lap!

from Michelle

This is more than a mere lamp, it’s a cautionary moral tale, warning kids about the dangers of overindulging and the heavy toll an ice cream addiction will take on an innocent life.  “Do you want to end up like these junkies?  Passed out, face down, desperate for that next sugar buzz, living your life lick-to-lick? DO YOU?!  I didn’t think so.  Sweet dreams kids!”

from Betsy

If there’s one thing we don’t see nearly enough in home decor these days, it’s spittoons. That’s why I invented this lamp! Nothing welcomes guests to your home better than a well-lit invitation to contribute to a jug of spit juice.  Don’t worry, the lacy lampshade keeps everything real civilized.  I wasn’t raised in a barn! (I was raised in a bar).

from Elizabeth

 “Hiiii kids!  Happy Birthday to …  birrrthday boy!!! Let’s get this party starrrrted!  For his first trick, Drinky the Clown is going to borrow $5, slap your grandpa, and take a nap on the lawn.”

Vote now!

If you can’t see the poll, try here. If that doesn’t work, try here!

There is still time to vote on Round One and Round Two!