Make some noise ya’ll, it’s time for Round Three! Are you excited! And scared? And a little nauseous? That’s ok. That’s what we aim for.
But first, let’s recap yesterday’s round, or should we say BLOODBATH, with Raccoon of Utter Despair rabidly clawing his way to the top. We’ll be seeing him again in the final round tomorrow for sure. He’d be busy celebrating if he could stop crying.
But who will he face-off against from Round Three? Let’s find out right now!
This dead-eyed Delta Burke came ready to play. Or kill you in your sleep. Her hands gently reach out to claim your soul, as an off-key saxophone softly plays the Designing Women theme-song in the background. You can try to awake from this nightmare, but you never will.
Hey, what’s creepier than an heavily-bearded train conductor sharing his lap with a little girl? Not much. Besides making a lamp out of it so you can bask in the glow of this scene daily. (And again with the inexplicable soccer ball!?) I want to know what he’s pointing at. On second thought, no, I don’t.
This lamp is like a feline version of Paul Revere, racing through the village with a lantern held aloft to warn us of approaching enemies. “The ugly cat lamps are coming! The ugly cat lamps are coming! Oh … wait.”
Hey, want to join our hobby club? We make lamps out of dead animals! It’s great fun. We meet on Tuesday nights. You’re required to provide your own glue-gun and deer legs. And be a psychopath.
If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if you ate a pound of jelly-covered bacon and then threw it back up along with your entire digestive tract, and then sculpted a pendant lamp out of the whole steaming mess, wonder no more!
Go home E.T.
And I want my tart pan back.
(Having trouble seeing the poll in your tablet or reader? Click here!)