Make some noise ya’ll, it’s time for Round Three! Are you excited! And scared? And a little nauseous? That’s ok. That’s what we aim for.
But first, let’s recap yesterday’s round, or should we say BLOODBATH, with Raccoon of Utter Despair rabidly clawing his way to the top. We’ll be seeing him again in the final round tomorrow for sure. He’d be busy celebrating if he could stop crying.
But who will he face-off against from Round Three? Let’s find out right now!
from Amber K.
This dead-eyed Delta Burke came ready to play. Or kill you in your sleep. Her hands gently reach out to claim your soul, as an off-key saxophone softly plays the Designing Women theme-song in the background. You can try to awake from this nightmare, but you never will.
from Andrea H.
Hey, what’s creepier than an heavily-bearded train conductor sharing his lap with a little girl? Not much. Besides making a lamp out of it so you can bask in the glow of this scene daily. (And again with the inexplicable soccer ball!?) I want to know what he’s pointing at. On second thought, no, I don’t.
from Lauren O.
This lamp is like a feline version of Paul Revere, racing through the village with a lantern held aloft to warn us of approaching enemies. “The ugly cat lamps are coming! The ugly cat lamps are coming! Oh … wait.”
from Angela C.
Hey, want to join our hobby club? We make lamps out of dead animals! It’s great fun. We meet on Tuesday nights. You’re required to provide your own glue-gun and deer legs. And be a psychopath.
from Jenny W.
If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if you ate a pound of jelly-covered bacon and then threw it back up along with your entire digestive tract, and then sculpted a pendant lamp out of the whole steaming mess, wonder no more!
from Kalpana S.
Go home E.T.
You’re drunk.
And I want my tart pan back.
Vote Now!
(Having trouble seeing the poll in your tablet or reader? Click here!)
50 Comments
Vel
August 28, 2013 at 6:15 PMOMG it just keeps getting”better’!!! Poor ET, I feel for the fella’! So funny,this series always makes me laugh!~
Karon
August 28, 2013 at 6:26 PMA ha ha! The E.T. description was the best. You totally crack me up!!
Tracy
August 28, 2013 at 6:28 PMOMG – they are getting worse everyday! Who knew it was possible. I thought nothing could be as bad as the “foot cast” lamp from yesteryear but these are hideous! It is so hard to pick so I imagine if I had to have one on my nightstand for one week – watching me sleep, etc it helps me. So even though bacon barf if really ugly – the whole doll thing with the flirty lacy shade is like creepy beyond creepy! I imagine all the dust mites and I’m sure she smells (LOL) and I imagine her diving off the base onto my face during the night. Hee hee. So yep – Delta Burke doll scary type thing- a-bop is number one today! YIKES! LMAO!
Deb
August 28, 2013 at 6:30 PMI am tempted to vote for ET based on your comment alone – made me guffaw (yes GUFFAW) at work. 😉
Roxanne
August 28, 2013 at 6:31 PMThat was a hard vote, as I scrolled they continued to get uglier when I swore, nothing could be uglier than the last! Haha.
wendy
August 28, 2013 at 6:36 PMI think perhaps that these lovelies are found in thrift shops, and not brought home, based on all the shots with pegboard behind them. I feel kinda sorry for them, like a Disney cartoon…lovelorn lamps.
Suzan
August 28, 2013 at 6:50 PMOk – I’ve just spent the last 10 minutes going through all 3 posts and laughing my head off here – not only at the lamps but at your commentary – Too too funny!!!
I put my votes in all three!
XXX
Brynne@TheGatheredHome
August 28, 2013 at 6:51 PMOh God, that “bacon barf” lamp makes me think of liposuction medical waste… Ugghhhhh!!!!
Alison
August 28, 2013 at 6:52 PMThat whole, jelly bacon intestinal mosaic melange is such a horror – that if it were to appear in my house, I’d have to move. Destroying the foul thing wouldn’t be enough to remove it’s aura.
Sarah
August 28, 2013 at 6:55 PMI keep thinking that I have seen the ugliest lamp, and then another comes along to change my mind. What the…!
Jessica H
August 28, 2013 at 7:04 PMThe bacon barf lamp reminded me of some medical models I saw once. They were models of badly healing wounds used for teaching medical and nursing students about wound care.
Kara
August 28, 2013 at 7:28 PMThe can one is actually pretty cool! Or, at least, the shade is. I’ve definitely been looking like a shade like that for my living room reading lamp.
Kara
August 28, 2013 at 7:29 PMOops, I meant, the cat one 🙂
Sarah @ 702 Park Project
August 28, 2013 at 7:37 PMOk, these are all pretty awful, but how is the creepy pedophile guy not winning this?!?
pilar
August 28, 2013 at 8:03 PMOMG this third round is by far the most difficult of all. They are really scary. I think I won t be able to sleep tonight.
The best part are the comments LOL
Marcee ... ILLINOIS
August 28, 2013 at 8:12 PMOh. Who can even choose? They are ALL atrocious. (Did I spell that correctly?) Ugh. Nightmares are made of these “things.” .
Marcee ... ILLINOIS
August 28, 2013 at 8:14 PMHesitantly, I voted. But …. it was very difficult. Now I have a migraine.
MUMZY
August 28, 2013 at 8:15 PMOH, MY!!!! Not only are the lamps hilarious, so are you!!!! Seriously had to laugh loudly!!!!!
Tara Dawes
August 28, 2013 at 8:23 PMSooooo much ugly it’s hard to choose which is the worst. Really want to know what these people are thinking with the whole “Let’s make dead things into lamps” :/
Kristin F
August 28, 2013 at 8:26 PMI had no idea there were this many hideous, freaky, downright frightening lamps in the world.
Nikki H
August 28, 2013 at 8:38 PMHey! I have that cat lamp, but with a solid orange shade. And little green pieces of glass for the eyes! I love that lamp. Should I hang my head in shame? NO! My daughter has already asked for it when I no longer want it.
Pam D.
August 28, 2013 at 8:54 PMWOW having the cord wrapped around deer legs mad it look like it was lassoed,lol,and it doesn’t seem like much light could even come out. And then here comes the bacon barf tiffany lamp,W..T..H? No words can describe the feeling I have,LOL.
Barbara Brannon
August 28, 2013 at 9:07 PMYour comments alone make this SO fun! I was absolutely laughing out loud (here at work no less!) when everyone came around to see what I was laughing at! We ALL had a big laugh then together! Yep – “Bacon Barf” wins today, hands down.
Thanks for the fun!
Barbara in TN
Shanna
August 28, 2013 at 9:28 PMThese are so awesomely bad!!!! I have to go with creepy doll though. They are all soooo bad! Love it! Thanks for the entertainment!
Amanda
August 28, 2013 at 9:38 PMI actually really like the cat lamp!
Marty
August 28, 2013 at 9:48 PMHow can they get any worse! Omgosh! What are people thinking when they create these uggly pieces!!!!
Melanie
August 28, 2013 at 10:21 PMROTFL! It was hard to chose the worst, but I’ll go with #16.
Jolene
August 28, 2013 at 11:33 PMOh man! This round had me laughing so hard I was crying!! ET just was the super finale! How am I supposed to pick one??
Amie
August 28, 2013 at 11:42 PMOh my gosh, they’re hideous, just hideous!!!!!!
Lesley
August 28, 2013 at 11:49 PMSeriously people owned these things…. and are selling them or something. They are just gross! All the ugly lamps should be burned in a huge heap but then what would entertain us?
Maria
August 28, 2013 at 11:56 PMI think Bacon Barf is something my cat brought up this morning. Bleurgh! Oh wait…I could sell his upchuck and make a fortune!
Heather Miller
August 29, 2013 at 12:03 AMI am crying I am laughing so hard at these lamps, especially that ugly E.T. one and your description is the best thing ever!!
Jen
August 29, 2013 at 12:05 AMOMG! How do I vote twice!
Where the heck did the throw up lamp come from!?!? And what exactly is it??
HA!
Angie
August 29, 2013 at 12:42 AMI love the time of year when the Ugly Lamp Contests arrives! The only thing I look forward to more is your commentary!!! You are friggin’ hilarious!!!!
Cindy
August 28, 2013 at 6:25 PMHow on earth do I decide between Deer in the Dread-light and Bacon Barf? I know I can’t vote for #14, because that guy looks like my father-in-law…
Kala M.
August 29, 2013 at 2:08 AMMy husband thinks the bacon barf lamp looks kind of like fruit cake. But then we read the description and said yeah that sounds about right. LOL
Jake's a Girl
August 28, 2013 at 7:29 PMI keep thinking…Are these things for real! Yep. They are cause nobody could make these things up. 😀
Jake’s a Girl
Jake's a Girl
August 28, 2013 at 7:30 PMBut! Somebody did.
*this part is missing from my post* I think google hates me.
deb
August 29, 2013 at 2:45 AMAll of these are “winners”. No fair!
Revi
August 29, 2013 at 2:49 AMI have to say, probably the ugliest lamp to my eye is the jelly and bacon throw up lamp, but I laughed out loud SO HARD when I read your cut like for the “Go home, ET.” lamp. I just had to cast my vote and say, “I only WISH I could come up with something like that!” Thanks for the laugh. Made my night, clever girl!
-Revi
Jenny B.
August 29, 2013 at 3:37 AMI’m in TEARS!!! Oh my goodness! HAHAHA!!!
stephbo93
August 29, 2013 at 4:19 AMI really think the Ugly Lamp Contest should be twice a year. There’s just too much awesomeness to be crammed into one week. And I can’t believe there was a deer foot lamp after my comment yesterday. Or, rather….I *can* believe it; I just don’t *want* to believe it.
lisa
August 29, 2013 at 6:01 AMthis round was tough ! Remember the movie “THE BLOB” ?
Anne@DesignDreams
August 29, 2013 at 2:10 AMyou outdid yourself with your comments on this one. KILLING myself!!
kolein
August 29, 2013 at 12:02 PMSCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER!!!! You ARE SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your description of the bacon lamp had me wheezing!!!
Patricia
August 29, 2013 at 4:16 PMIf I worked any of these thrift shops, I wouldn’t display any of those lamps.. I’d bury them out back and hope they wouldn’t haunt me for the rest of my life.
Kimberly
August 29, 2013 at 4:27 PMI scroll slowly through the pictures, reading each caption and dying laughing. Every. single. time. Just when I think I’ve made my choice and there couldn’t possibly be anything uglier – the next one IS! I don’t know how you’ve done it, but this year’s lamps totally beat the other years in levels of ugliness. The way I’m finding myself deciding? The one that makes my stomach church the most! Seriously! (btw, I said to myself that #17 looks like vomit BEFORE I read your comment – soooo true!)
Jessica@designerssweetspot.blogspot.com
August 29, 2013 at 10:30 PMThis is beyond hilarious! Who knew there were so many hideous lamps out there in the world! ET has my got this time, it was so hard to choose!
Jerilyn
August 30, 2013 at 5:09 PMOh that ET description made me laugh til I cried. I’m know you put a lot of work into your blog and I want you to know how often you brighten my day. Keep up the good work!
Julie Federico
January 2, 2014 at 9:16 PMET was hanging out with my brother-in-law last night.